Linkbait and Viral Content of “Guys in Tight Pants”

For those a little less familiar with SEO, you may be reading “guys in tight pants” along with the words “bait” and “viral” to conclude that this post may contain indecent exposure.  Well, all that’s guaranteed is that this post will remain on topic.

So dare I ask – What do you think about guys in tight pants? Which of the following statements best describes your reaction to this question?

a. Why else do you think I look forward to baseball season?

b. Depends on which continent he lives on

c. If it feels good, do it.  Or…

d. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But wait. Before you answer, take a moment to consider some different viewpoints.  Let’s take a look at what Cell Phone Companies, Scientists and Google might say.

Tight Pants Second Leading Cause of Broken Cell Phones

A study in Sweden of 300 cell phone retailers found that tight pants were the second leading cause of broken cell phones.  It seems trying to squeeze your cell phone into snug-fitting pants causes the screen to break or covers to bend or snap. This means that tight pants caused more cell phones to break than rain, throwing it, dogs, children, snow and toilets to name a few. According to the study, the most common reason for cell phones breaking is simply dropping them on the ground.

So next time you visit your cell phone provider, be sure to ask about how many times they’ve heard the “tight pants” defense been used.  It may be safe to assume, according to this study, that the high probability of cell phones breaking due to tight pants would have a simple solution – Get a cover.  This would make both consumer and cell phone company happy.  But alas “C’est la vie”.

Tight Pants Theory

Some scientific studies have concluded that wearing tight pants may decrease procreative ability among men.  Other studies have not proved this to be true.  This tight pants theory states that the internal body temperature 98.6 degrees Farenheit is too hot for a “tight package”.  Of course, there is a related study that declares the same effect among laptop users who rest their laptops on their laps.  So it appears some scientists might dissuade guys from wearing tight pants.

What Might Google Say About Tight Pants?

A well-known internet marketing company, SEOmoz, recently published their annual top SEO ranking factors list.  This included a list of top link building tactics for SEO.  According to SEOmoz, the number one effective link building method is to “create linkbait and viral content”.  Blogging comes in at a close second.  Here are the top four results according to the recently released list of 2009.

SEOmoz’s Effectiveness of Link Building Tactics for SEO:

1. Linkbait and Viral Content – 67% very high value
2. Blogging and Engaging with the Blogosphere – 66% very high value
3. Classic “Create Valuable Content Without Promotional Marketing – 58% high value
4. Public Relations (beyond just press release publication) – 56% high value

So as you see, a high value is placed on creating linkbait. What is linkbait? Linkbait is a feature of a website that somehow attracts viewers.  “Tight Pants on Guys” is an example of linkbait.  But notice also, the high value attributed to creating valuable content on your website.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a catchy opening line.  Remember that your audience contains people just like you.  They like to laugh, oftentimes they like to learn and sometimes they even like to participate.  That’s where having a blog and also engaging with others’ blogs comes in.  SEOmoz gives blogging a 66% very high value showing that blogging is a great SEO link building tactic.

So the moral of this blog post is that Tight Pants on Guys may cause some to run the other way, yet many of us keep coming back for more.  So as long as this fashion debate continues, so will the viral nature of Guys in Tight Pants.

The Story Of My Quest For World Beard And Moustache Championship Glory

We were talking in the office yesterday about viral campaigns on the Internet. So, at first I was going to post about the concept of things “going viral” on the world’s widest web. Then, I thought…why not write a blog about beards.

Growing A Beard Is Cool. I Have A Beard. Therefore, I Am Cool

Beards are awesome. For example, I have a beard. Most of the bearded folks I know are pretty cool. And even for every crazy beardo out there, there’s a wholesome better half. For every Chuck Manson, there’s a Chuck Norris.

The point is, I’m thinking of going pro. The next World Beard and Moustache Championships are less than two years away and if I’m gonna go for it, I’m gonna go now.

The Saga For Beard Gold Begins

So, as a Search Engine Marketing Strategist, I did a little keyword research to see how a future beard champion would go about finding information on demolishing the competition and guess what? People are stupid. Wait, no. That came out wrong.

What I meant to say is – too many people search for “how to grow a beard” than society as a whole should be comfortable with. How to grow a beard? Really? Do these people not have faces? Stop shaving! When someone searches Google for “how to grow a beard,” the Internet should grind to a halt and we should all point and laugh.

Dear Beard Team USA, I Accept Your Invitation

My beard was famous...on cable.

Anyway, I joined up with the Beard Team USA…and that’s no lie. It sounds like a pretty major step, but they set the bar pretty low. I wanted to impress them with not only my facial hair, but how it quite literally has its own character. So I sent in the following picture, in which you can see my beard starring in a walk-on role on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

That’s me all the way on the right – “Blue Shirt Guy W/Backpack.” And that’s my beard…on my face. I figure I’m a shoe-in for first string on Beard Team USA. That’s some crucial beard starpower that could make a good team a great team. Plus, this guy is on the team and his beard is wack.

Beware The Moustache Championship Division

Ok, that’s enough talk about beards for now. I’ve got my work cut out for me if the2011 World Beard and Moustache Championships are going to be the cakewalk I expect. And just so we’re clear, I’ve got no love for the Moustache Championship division.  There are only two kinds of moustachioed folks on this planet:

Those that lost the ‘stache and gained respect;

and those who are above any moustache mockery;

The rest just look creepy.

2011 World Beard And Moustache Championship, Here I Come

If you remember nothing from this rant, remember this – Beards are awesome. Mine starred on cable. Moustache’s mostly look stupid. Go Beard Team USA.

See you at the 2011 World Beard and Moustache Championships. Oh, wait…it’s in Norway?

Yeah, I can’t make that.